I recently discovered some interesting insight into how emotional sexual triggers are formed. A man told me this story which I’m sharing because it is such a clear example. Look for these steps towards understanding his sexual trigger, which eventually becomes a fetish, in the story.
- 1. A highly emotional fight or flight response to a situation where the physical body is then flooded with chemicals including hormones.
- 2. A sexual encounter that coincides, creating pleasure within the painful situation, setting the interest in repeating the situation.
- 3. A similar situation repeating, to solidify the pattern.
Here is his story:
“When I saw some photos of a woman, I got turned on and wanted to meet her as seeing her, triggered a memory of a teacher from summer school at the age of twelve. My mom went to pick me up after school and the car stalled in front of where the cheerleaders were waiting. The car engine cranked over and over like it wanted to start, but it didn’t. Meanwhile all the girls were staring at me, some of them with a smirk on their faces. I wanted to sink down into the seat and get below the windows of the car but it was too late, all girls had already noticed and were teasing me while
my mom continued trying to start the car, with no luck. Then my teacher, who was beautiful, came to help. She tried to start the car over and over until the battery got so weak, the car died. For whatever reason the situation totally turned me on! Fortunately, she gave us a ride home. Hard to forget that day!”
The heightened energetic response of embarrassment, flooded his body with endorphins to help block his emotional pain, which also created a powerful surge of energy and blood flowing which supported an easily happening erection considering the vibrant cheerleaders watching him and his beautiful teacher coming to the rescue. The mixture of humiliation and erection was powerful.
Interestingly enough, what he was focused on the most was what caused the embarrassment, the sound of the flooded car-engine. This “bad-sound” became a trigger after another similar situation and emotional response pattern repeated itself, as he gets turned on again.
“It also happened when I was waiting for my mom in the car at the mall. In the car in front of me there was this sexy, beautiful girl with her feet on the dash-board that I could see through the windshield of her car, she appeared to be waiting for someone too. She noticed I was looking at her feet, so she gave me a smirk. I felt shy and looked away, when I tried to secretly look at her she was still was looking at me, smiling. I got even more embarrassed and I wanted to leave. My mom came, so I helped her with groceries and put them in the trunk and then we tried to leave but the car didn’t start! I felt like the girl was still teasing me with her feet, like she was enjoying watching us stalled!
Now, that really turned me on! I guess her moving her feet slowly back and forward with a smirk on her face while my mom’s car would not start, like she was saying, looks like you aren’t going anywhere with a smile on her face did it.”
The pattern of embarrassment and humiliation as an emotional response with an intense turn on soon than began a fetish or something to seek for the same feeling and pleasure.
“Since that day I always flooded my moms car at the shopping mall on purpose, so it wouldn’t start. Listening to the engine cranking over and over, would really turn me on and give me a huge erection!”
This last part, the video he showed me, points to a step where he could be experiencing an inverted reality or an attempt at creating his own healing for his injured psyche of experiencing humilation. By switching the humiliation to her (the teacher or the cheerleaders or those who in later years represent them) he then feels the power he felt they had over him! This is despite what the reality of the cheerleaders, or other women were experiencing. Those smirks he saw them do are more likely representative of their own embarrassment, shyness, interest, boredom or even flirtations, despite how he sees it as being mocked and teased because of an a previously developed childhood pattern of humiliation.
An intense fixation on the subject could lead to psychopathic behavior that, what appears as a harmless attempt at reconnecting that energetic response, could become inverted as the video shows, now “she” is the one behind the engine of the car that won’t start. The projection could now become something to act out as as well and this is a serious red-flag.
“That would really turn me on, pampering and massaging your sexy feet… sitting on a couch by a fireplace on a rainy day having some wine, my car not starting until I worship your feet.”
Hopefully he is looking for the erection response he gets when he allows himself to enjoy touching her and her feet without shame, because he has found away to accept himself and in doing so accept her and be accepted now.
If he wants to play act in an inverted reality such as the car not starting until you worship his feet , there is an indication that he may go farther in his fixation and could become a dangerous individual who perhaps cuts her fuel line while he smirks and waits for your emotional response of humiliation by her while he watches nearby in the bushes.
Knowledge of sexual triggers, how they are formed and when fetishes become projected and dangerously inverted is valuable for your own safety and well-being.