How Sexual Triggers are Programmed and Red-flags

thI recently discovered some interesting insight into how emotional sexual triggers are formed.  A man told me this story which I’m sharing because it is such a clear example.  Look for these steps towards understanding his sexual trigger, which eventually becomes a fetish, in the story.

  • 1.  A highly emotional fight or flight response to a situation where the physical body is then flooded with chemicals including hormones.
  • 2.  A sexual encounter that coincides, creating pleasure within the painful situation, setting the interest in repeating the situation.
  • 3.  A similar situation repeating, to solidify the pattern.

Here is his story:

“When I saw some photos of a woman, I got turned on and wanted to meet her as seeing her, triggered a memory of a teacher from summer school at the age of twelve. My mom went to pick me up after school and the car stalled in front of where the cheerleaders were waiting.  The car engine cranked over and over like it wanted to start, but it didn’t.  Meanwhile all the girls were staring at me, some of them with a smirk on their faces.  I wanted to sink down into the seat and get below the windows of the car but it was too late, all girls had already noticed and were teasing me while


my mom continued trying to start the car, with no luck. Then my teacher, who was beautiful, came to help.  She tried to start the car over and over until the battery got so weak, the car died.  For whatever reason the situation totally turned me on!  Fortunately, she gave us a ride home. Hard to forget that day!”

The heightened energetic response of embarrassment, flooded his body with endorphins to help block his emotional pain, which also created a powerful surge of energy and blood flowing which supported an easily happening erection considering the vibrant cheerleaders watching him and his beautiful teacher coming to the rescue.  The mixture of humiliation and erection was powerful.

Interestingly enough, what he was focused on the most was what caused the embarrassment, the sound of the flooded car-engine.  This “bad-sound” became a trigger after another similar situation and emotional response pattern repeated itself, as he gets turned on again.

“It also happened when I was waiting for my mom in the car at the mall. In the car in front of me there was this sexy, beautiful girl with her feet on the dash-board that I could see through the windshield of her car, she appeared to be waiting for someone too. She noticed I was looking at her feet, so she gave me a smirk. I felt shy and looked away, when I tried to secretly look at her she was still was looking at me, smiling. I got even more embarrassed and I wanted to leave. My mom came, so I helped her with groceries and put them in the trunk and then we tried to leave but the car didn’t start! I felt like the girl was still teasing me with her feet, like she was enjoying watching us stalled!

Now, that really turned me on!  I guess her moving her feet slowly back and forward with a smirk on her face while my mom’s car would not start, like she was saying, looks like you aren’t going anywhere with a smile on her face did it.”

The pattern of embarrassment and humiliation as an emotional response with an intense turn on soon than began a fetish or something to seek for the same feeling and pleasure.

“Since that day I always flooded my moms car at the shopping mall on purpose, so it wouldn’t start.  Listening to the engine cranking over and over, would really turn me on and give me a huge erection!”

This last part, the video he showed me, points to a step where he could be experiencing an inverted reality or an attempt at creating his own healing for his injured psyche of experiencing humilation.  By switching the humiliation to her (the teacher or the cheerleaders or those who in later years represent them) he then feels the power he felt they had over him!  This is despite what the reality of the cheerleaders, or other women were experiencing.  Those smirks he saw them do are more likely representative of their own embarrassment, shyness, interest, boredom or even flirtations, despite how he sees it as being mocked and teased because of an a previously developed childhood pattern of humiliation.

An intense fixation on the subject could lead to psychopathic behavior that, what appears as a harmless attempt at reconnecting that energetic response, could become inverted as the video shows, now “she” is the one behind the engine of the car that won’t start.  The projection could now become something to act out as as well and this is a serious red-flag.

“That would really turn me on, pampering and massaging your sexy feet… sitting on a couch by a fireplace on a rainy day having some wine, my car not starting until I worship your feet.”

Hopefully he is looking for the erection response he gets when he allows himself to enjoy touching her and her feet without shame, because he has found away to accept himself and in doing so accept her and be accepted now.

If he wants to play act in an inverted reality such as the car not starting until you worship his feet , there is an indication that he may go farther in his fixation and could become a dangerous individual who perhaps cuts her fuel line while he smirks and waits for your emotional response of humiliation by her while he watches nearby in the bushes.

Knowledge of sexual triggers, how they are formed and when fetishes become projected and dangerously inverted is valuable for your own safety and well-being.


Objectifying Men

For those who that still don’t get what “objectifying women” means, here is J. LO’s new video to help bring it to light. She flips it back, and objectifies men in her song I Luh Ya Papi.

Come on guys –make yourself look as HOT as the men in the video for us women who need you to temporarily to validate us. lol.

Objectifying Women Taken to a Whole New Level

Davecat with his mistress, Elena (left) and wife Sidore (right). (Renato Velarde)

Davecat with his mistress, Elena (left) and wife Sidore (right). (Renato Velarde)

This is by far the super-uber CREEPIEST thing I’ve seen in months!! …maybe EVER!  It’s about men who buy life-size dolls.  Deluxe ones that is, complete with removable tongues and teeth, REAL pubic hair patches and replaceable vaginas!

The men who have these dolls believe they are having actual RELATIONSHIPS with them!

imagesThe facilitator presents this in a heartwarming documentary of understanding, but truth be told, it’s a creepzone and I’d be happier having never known these men exist on the same planet that I do!

Men at this level are way beyond considering “therapy” or SELF-IMPROVEMENT for themselves so they can be in a relationship with a “real” woman because they aren’t looking for someone to have a “conversation” with and a doll says one man, is “cheaper than buying the groceries for a live-woman” as if a woman is yet another cost like a pet to feed that stays around the house unconditionally loving you.

man-marries-doll-550x326At least these dolls are helping humanity because the men cannot BREED with them! Hopefully these men will die without spreading their creepy dna around the planet before they get the guts to lock a real women away in their basement!

New Age Polyamory: Stuck in the Fourth Insight

Image The ahem… Onion News shows a couple exploring the Fourth Insight most clearly in this truth be told, satirist video titled Open Relationship Gives Couple Freedom to Emotionally Drain Others. 

click here to see the video

Polyamory:  (from Greek πολύ [poly], meaning “many” or “several”, and Latin amor, “love“) is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

New AgeWestern spiritual movement “drawing on both Eastern and Western spiritual and metaphysical traditions and infusing them with influences from self-help and motivational psychologyholistic health,parapsychology, consciousness research and quantum physics“.[2]
Fourth Insight:  Competition for energy. A fundamental assumption underlies most human interactions: we must compete for this energy, drawing it from others and protecting ourselves from others’ attempts to draw it from us. This leads to some nasty interactions.
(In 1993 a book titled The Celestine Prophecy made it’s debut, eventually selling over 20 million copies to those exploring the topics around the new age.  The book takes follows a man on his personal journey to his awareness of the Nine Insights which will enlighten him, awaken his deeper aspects and raise his consciousness).

The Male Room, Doesn’t “get” it…

My response to the guys in the video below:  mmmm nice try guys, but you two aren’t even close to being “there” you are still at least 30% clueless (I know…I know… you are thinking oh wow, at least we are only 30% clueless).   Many of your comments are hypocritical and saying things as some lame awareness of “honesty” does not change the fact that what YOU as men are Projecting what can be felt by women.  Those projections influence women to keep acting, dressing and (giggling like your cheerleader in the back ground) and reflecting YOU the way we, as a gender, do.  Let me guess, you are both still single… (?).  Consider listening to your video again while you dress-up and wear make-up and pretend you are a woman see if you can gain another level of awareness.  Consider becoming aware of something that isn’t new, and that is the information that comes Back to You when women reflect You.  That is, if you dare!

This video does not empower women into self-love like they say, rather it lets men off the hook for their Projections and yet again makes women responsible for what men are doing.  It’s full of double-standards.

Kung fu vaginas, not cool, NOT cool at all!


kim-red-dress-color-adj-anamiA psycho woman by the name of Kim Anami is projecting her lack of her sexual mojo at vaginas by trying to convince women that we will be in our power by being able to entertain men by having ping pong balls fly out of our vaginas!

In her marketing for Kung Fu Vagina’s which sounds real cool and everything until you realize she is talking about abusing vaginas with weight lifting and compares ours vag’s to the advanced asian women who all can pop ping-pong balls out of them for men (oh how cool!).  She implies that it’s something we have “lost” the skill of.  How insightful, but we also used to be concubines and is that also a lost “skill”.

Even though I pretty certain that with some practice I could make a ping pong ball fly it’s not on my list of accomplishments for sports and activities to post on Okcupid.  While women will fall for it everywhere in their desperation to entertain and please men and keep up with whatever is marketed as the norm or the latest-greatest sexual skill, I want to remind you  –isn’t a baby flying out of your vagina enough to know of it’s power?!

Furthermore, I cannot think of a less sacred way to treat your own vagina than weight lifting.  Weight lifting in itself is fast becoming an archaic way of training your body to have strength, most who go at at it, end up with a clumbsy and inflexible body and find better methods of perfecting their bods.  I envision 2,000 years from now when archeologists dig up the modern day weight-room artifacts and in confusion, deem them personal torture devices.

If you truly want a kung fu vagina, you might note an important error in that martial arts don’t rely on weight-lifting for their source of skill and power.  The power is in the breath and the intention.

In her later video she has really mastered the art of marketing her idea with a lot of cute and normal looking people, with “haha scenes” that in actuality please the same kind of men that like to go to Hooters and drink beer bongs.

Kim Anami, you are not cool!  Not cool at all… what a creepy sell out to her own gender!


Regret Sex and the Temple Goddess

images-2When it comes to a new guy and feeling-out the potentials of a sexual encounter I like to move to my second base by checking his cock out with my hand. I want to see what I feel like when I touch it; and if I like it and his response. Next, I want him to show it to me. Call it a test of sexual confidence. If he can hold a light, erotic conversation, eye-contact and an erection all at the same time he might be powerful enough to hold a presence that will keep me turned on. At any moment if I’m unsure (which for me is a strong NO) I cruelly enough, feign to the bathroom, dragging with me any clothes that might have came off. Privately I can bring myself back into my own uninfluenced, consciousness while allowing him some cooling off time before the bad news. I believe guys refer to this as, stuck at second-base club.

If the alternative happens and both him and his cock are still very appealing to me than I will feel a natural desire for more and I will want to feel it with my lips and slide it into my mouth, exploring it all over, sensualizing myself with it. When it’s in my mouth and I look into his eyes, if his presence holds and a solid connection is there, I will feel a sexual charge, an energetic surge, become intoxicatedly wet and totally turned on. I will ravenously want more of everything about his sexed-up cock! If there is any need for personal lubrication in me, after his cock has been in my mouth than it’s just not meant to be! The encounter is predictably headed towards a frustrating experience, dull intercourse or the dreaded try-to-hard bonking.

imagesTo my woman-sisters I say, if unconsciously, or perhaps drunkenly, you go along with it for lack of consciousness and will, and accidentally have sex anyways, you can soothe yourself with an alternative perception.  I refer to it as compassion sex, which is sex that wasn’t satisfying but you went along with it anyways.  How many times have you done that? You are making out, not fully turned on, oh dread, you couldn’t don’t break away. When it happens the better way to “perceive” it is this: Give it up to your inner goddess Aphrodite, and call it a modern revival of the temple-sex offering.

The ancient tradition goes that the ruling goddess Aphrodite expected that each female, at least once in their lifetime, no matter what their marriage or money status, come to the Temple and accept any amount of money from any male who offered it, in exchange for sex. It was referred to as a form of sacred-prostitution. All women of the land were expected to participate, in honor of the Goddess. One would never consider rejecting the request. Once in the temple, to decline any offer that a man would place in her lap, was not an option.

I can imagine that this exchange allowed for an influx of sexual energy that, for the greater good of the community.  It was surely valuable in it’s own way perhaps keeping the perv-status down that arises from sexual suppression.

Fortunately we are no longer required to hold that form of sex, however, we often come upon it through our own blunders.  Indeed, alcohol serves for that!  So, in hind-sight after an encounter of crappy sex, at least say to yourself: It was an offering to the ancient Goddess Aphrodite.